


It was not Your Fault, but Mine

by C4pricornC4ts



Series: Mcyt One-shots [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Philza and Niki care about Wilbur, Wilbur is sad and does something dumb, do not send wilbur any hate, if you know the song I listened to writing this, just know ily, song-fic, sorry - Freeform, this is fictional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4pricornC4ts/pseuds/C4pricornC4ts
Summary: Wilbur makes a huge mistake, two people get hurt.
Relationships: None
Series: Mcyt One-shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932844
Comments: 10
Kudos: 174





	It was not Your Fault, but Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for drinking, a drunk character, and fairly non-descriptive violence in this one-shot. 
> 
> Sorry if you've already read this on my tumblr, I'm moving all the one-shots from there into here so after this I'll repost one more fic then get back to original content. :)

Wilbur throws down his bags by the door. Slamming it behind him. Everything was too loud. His limbs felt heavy as he dragged himself over to his bedroom, he was exhausted.  
Since when did YouTube get so tiring? Everyday felt like a fight. One day he's arguing with a landlord and the next he’s arguing with himself about believing the hate comments. 

He had finished editing a few videos before just quitting and coming home. He yells in frustration when he feels no less overwhelmed in his living room than when he was at the office. Everything was so overwhelming, every car that passed by sounded like a freight train. Felt like one too. 

He starts to get nauseous before he even considers drinking. He’d been doing so well on his promise to Philza and Niki. For a few months even his roommates didn’t bring alcohol into their flat. 

Wilbur had insisted it was okay for them to start keeping it in the cabinets. After all, life had been going well. He’s been sober for at least half a year and he never did plan on breaking his friend’s trust. 

Till now, when his head is stuffed with lead and the world only sounds angry. He’s even angrier with himself when he realizes it’s barely past noon. God, he really feels pathetic. Maybe the hate comments were right. 

With shaking hands he tears open the cabinet and grabs a whiskey glass. Setting it down, he grabs the cabinet sides and grits his teeth. Quickly before he can back out of this, he reaches for the bottle and pours a glass. 

He doesn’t stop at one. He didn’t plan on stopping till he’s numb. Not till the guilt and shame of drinking turns into peace. 

After four glasses he finally stops pitying himself and decides to go upstairs and play something with Philza. He gets up off the couch, leaving the tv on before going to pour himself another glass. Stumbling up the small stairway towards the computer in his room. 

He giggles and goes to Philza’s icon in discord. Clicking the call button before he can think any better of it. 

“Hey Wil, I thought you were too busy to play today?” He grins at the sound of his friend's voice and takes another sip. He’s leaning back a bit and the world feels like its spinning slightly. 

“S’s much better than the headaches…” He mumbles into his mic while going to steam.

“You’re having headaches again? Are you sick?” His friend sounds more concerned now, but Wilbur couldn’t be bothered asking why. 

“I’m not sick, I miss you. I miss Niki too.” He stops mid sentence and stops loading minecraft to open discord up. “Where’s Tommy?” He asks Philza suddenly. “H-he’s usually online…” 

“Did you really forget Wil? You said he could come get his camera he left at your place last week. I thought that’s what you were so busy with earlier.” Philza laughs softly, trying to play his concern off. 

Wilbur mumbles something in-coherent trying to understand what Philza was saying. 

“Maybe you should tell him to come over tomorrow Wil, you don’t seem well.” 

“Tell who?” He drags the second word out long enough it fades into a breathy laugh.

The doorbell rings, Wilbur takes another sip and puts his head on the computer desk. He wasn’t expecting anyone today anyways, his roommates all had keys. 

“Wil? Wilbur! Are you even listening to me?” Philza was grateful to have ended the stream early today. 

He hears the sound of grocery bags rustling and two voices downstairs. He keeps his head down, glancing up to his screen long enough to disconnect from his call with Philza. 

There’s a muffled “Okay, thanks.” From the downstairs before someone walks right into his room. He turns his chair, prepared to answer a question about dinner before being left alone again. 

The peace he had been feeling was shattered when he realized who was standing in front of him. 

“Hey Wil, I just came by for the camera. Am I interrupting something?” He sounds unsure how to approach the situation. A drastic opposite to the very casual feeling Wilbur.

“Camera, right, uh.” He scrunches his eyebrows trying to think of where he left the camera. He finishes the rest of the glass and winces when it hits the back of his throat. “It’s on the bedside dresser. Yeah.” He’s leaning against the computer desk, looking at the wall. 

Anything to avoid Tommy seeing him like this. 

“Wait- are you okay? Phil told me you didn’t drink- at least not anymore.”

“ ‘m fine Toms. It-It’s fine okay?” He’s tripping over his words, and the bad feelings from earlier are rooting themselves back in his chest. 

“I don’t think you are fine Wilbur…” 

He sighs and turns to look at the blonde who is fiddling with his camera to avoid looking at Wilbur. The room spins a bit and he grips his chair arm and tries to keep himself together. 

He needed Tommy to leave. “I’m fucking fine Toms. Completely fine.” The boy is looking at him now, the hurt evident across his face. Wilbur can’t stand it. “Why are you just standing there? You got what you came here for. Now go.” 

It hurts him to be so cross with Tommy. He knows the boy looks up to him. The fact he was seeing Wilbur like this just stung so badly. He was already hurting himself, he needed the kid gone before they both end up a mess. 

“Wilbur are you drun-” He tilts his head and scrunches his nose in question. 

Wilbur saw red. No one should’ve let him in. Someone should’ve protected him from ever seeing this side of him. Tommy always thought of him as such a good person. Someone stronger than he really was. 

He throws the glass at Tommy. The boy covers the left side of his head and closes his eyes as Wilbur watches the glass break against the wall. They are silent for a beat, the only sound being their breathing.

“Tommy I-” Wilbur runs his hands down his face. His whole body flooded with regret. “I-i’m sorry. Please I-”

Wilbur takes a step towards him, reaching out to try and check his arms for injury. “God, Tommy I’m sorry, really.” 

Tommy takes a step back and looks at Wilbur with the most disappointed expression and tries to stop shaking. He meets Wilbur’s eyes and both of them find themselves on the verge of tears.

Before Wilbur can even stutter out another apology, Tommy had bolted down the stairs and slammed the door on his way out. 

He really fucked it up this time.


End file.
